nine eleven

"now, we have inscribed a new memory alongside those others. it's a memory of tragedy and shock, of loss and mourning. but not only of loss and mourning. it's also a memory of bravery and self-sacrifice, and the love that lays down its life for a friend - even a friend whose name it never knew." ~ president george w. bush

much love and respect. shanti, shanti, shanti. xo.

thoughts on aging

{wash the thoughts away. by frederic poirot}

i can't help but notice how fast time is flying by lately. summer is pretty much over, and the holidays will be here before we know it. i pulled out another gray hair this morning. my younger sister just graduated college. my youngest sister is about to start college. i just need time to catch my breath.  

a fellow yogi gave me the following top ten list. i never thought of the comedian george carlin to be that inspirational, but this is just too good not to share. here are his thoughts on aging...

how to stay young

1. throw out nonessential numbers. this includes age, weight and height. let the doctors worry about them. that is why you pay "them".

2. keep only cheerful friends. the grouches pull you down.

3. keep learning. learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. never let the brain idle. "an idle mind is the devil's workshop." and the devil's name is Alzheimer's. 

4. enjoy the simple things.

5. laugh often, long and loud. laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. the tears happen. endure, grieve, and move on. the only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. be alive while you are alive. 

7. surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. your home is your refuge. 

8. cherish your health: if it is good, preserve it. if it is unstable, improve it. if it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. don't take guilt trips. take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. tell the people you love that you love them, at every single opportunity. 

be alive while you are alive. great stuff. 

peace and love. xoxo.

thoughtful thursday

woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. actually, there wasn't much waking involved, i was never fully asleep. i slept approximately 2.5 hours last night, for absolutely no reason at all. my mind was wandering...jumping from place to place. 

i always get angry at myself when i can't sleep. i'm not sure why i beat myself up about it. there is obviously some subconscious purpose in keeping my mind in a waking state. i should be still and let it run through its thoughts. but i never do. instead i exhaust every possible option to try and get me back to sleep. i started by repeating, "please go back to sleep" over and over to myself (i ignored myself), i came into about a dozen different yoga postures, all which are supposed to help insomnia (none that worked), wandered around our tiny apartment (not a lot of walking space), ate a bowl of cereal (i'm always hungry at 2 in the morning), sat in a meditative position, trying to "om" myself back to sleep (which only ended up making me really thirsty), until i finally gave up, laid back in bed and tried to let the soothing music of enya calm me into a sleepy stupor. 

i was half asleep when cort left for work this morning. i always wake up right after he goes to work anyway. no matter what the time, whether he leaves at 5 am (it happens more than it should) or 7. my mind won't let me rest knowing that my husband is off to work hard for our little family and i'm still in bed. restless and sleepy at the same time, i couldn't turn on the morning news this morning - a habit i'm slowly growing to love more and more. 

i started blog surfing, but it was just too early for it so i started reading. i am a strong believer that things come to you when you need them, and as i opened up one of my favorite books at the moment, the page turned to this quote. i thought it was appropriate to share with the 2 of you that actually read my blog as you follow along with me as i continue down the path of soul searching and finding my life's purpose (a little dramatic, but true): 

"everything is already ok. the notion strikes us as radical, and it surely is. what it means is that in our essential nature we are already fully awake and enlightened; it means that God is available to us fully in the moment, simply because God is our true nature. we simply have to stop resisting it. there is no distance to travel, nothing special that we have to do to earn God. it's a 'done deal'." - stephen cope, {day 93} meditations from the mat

tuesday reflections: coat of many colors

i've decided that i want to go to india. just today, after seeing these pictures. i have always thought that one of the coolest jobs would be to be a traveling photographer for a respectable publication. something like national geographic, or maybe outside magazine...but unfortunately, i have no professional training of any kind, nor did i develop the artistic gene in my family of artists, but i can still very much appreciate the talent of others. 

i thought these pictures were beautiful. i feel that capturing life, as it is happening, makes the best kind of picture. i've never been one for posing, but a great candid...that is real to me. frederic poirot has a collection of pictures that really pop to me because of the life and color he captures in his candids. i've come to have more of an appreciation for color over the last couple of weeks. it brightens the mood, warms the body and soul, and awakens the senses. 

somewhere of the last couple of years, i have accumulated an unhealthy amount of black in my wardrobe. my sweetest bff carlee has a running joke, whenever the subject of what i am wearing comes up, is if it involves a black hoodie of some kind. and she is usually right. 

the other day, my lovely teacher deanna, who no doubt you will hear me refer to often, was talking to me about chakras, colors, and all that they can represent in our lives. she explained that each chakra is associated with a different color, and has a grounding effect with its correlation to nature, earth and the universe. even the colors we chose are not arbitrary, but hold personal meaning towards us. she went on to explain the meaning of blues, greens, reds and so forth. as i looked down on my black on black lulu lemon wear, i proceeded to ask deanna what the color black meant? she looked deep and focused into my eyes and said, "black is not a color."

in india, color represents energy, passion, joy and light. black is the color of mourning. i've challenged myself to add a bit more color to my wardrobe, not only to please carlee, but to also bring just a little more life and energy into my life. it is inevitable that my preferred color is going to seep through every now and again, but some habits are just hard to break. and sometimes, just sometimes, it just makes you look skinnier. 

"well, darkness has a hunger that's insatiable, and lightness has a call that's hard to hear." - indigo girls

*images via flikr

julie and julia

i don't get that excited about upcoming movies, but this one, i can't wait for. 

i have such fond memories of julia child as she was a common fixture on the tube during my childhood. my mom loved her, therefore, i loved her. she had an amazing ability to make cooking look fun, use butter in everything, and always added the catch phrase, "bon appetit" to the end of all her shows. at a towering 6'2", she was the tallest, jolliest chef i've ever seen. 

hilarious without even trying, she made cooking real. she made it ok to mess up the recipes, as she did often on her show, but always told you ways to fix them if the inevitable happened (and it always did). she didn't apologize, just merely said "oppsidaisy," laughing it off and moved on stress-free and lighthearted as things fell off the counter, cakes fell apart and she forgot to add certain ingredients. she left the kitchen a mess, so much of what mine looks like after i try to tackle something new in the kitchen. she didn't try to make things healthier, she simply added more butter and suggested eating less of it. if she were alive today, i believe she would put the food network to shame. 

that being said, the movie comes out august 7. i imagine i will be dragging the husband to this one on opening night. 

"find something you are passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it." ~ julia child

her love of cooking, food and life is infectious. i'm feeling inspired to cook something new.

ten more things i completely adore...

i have had a lot of fun making lists lately. just thought i'd share some more of my terribly happiest things:

1. my morning email from ash

2. reading a blog post by her and her, and laughing out loud.

3. writing letters/notes

4. a back rub from my husband

5. pink lady apples

6. cool trees with crazy branches

7. churros from disneyland

8. the "after-run high"

9. my rock-solid group of friends

10. green lemonade

{both pictures beautifully captured by r.thurston}

if you need me, i'll be here....

and here....

...and here.

i know you're jealous. i'll report of my pina-colada drinking, beach bummin' and paradise-living when we get back.

quote of the day

via creature comforts

good advice

"To have true class, is to have the ability to make the others around you feel comfortable...."

~Luann DeLesseps, "Mrs. Manners"

luck of the irish

digging into my scottish roots, i can't help but feel somewhat like st. patrick's day is my own personal holiday. i have a deep love for all things irish, including riverdance, the color green, liam neeson, and enya. it is my personal goal to make it to ireland on st. patrick's day...someday. but just for now, i'm going to be perfectly happy spending the day with my most favorite irish-thing of all....redheads.

  

so, from my bleeding green heart to yours...happy st. patrick's day.

"may your blessings outnumber

the shamrocks that grow,

and may trouble avoid you

wherever you go."

{irish blessing}

we can't all look this good in a swimsuit...

i stole this little gem off the sisters' blog and couldn't help but admire the sweet figure i liked to show off in my younger years. i hit the big 2-6 today and was overwhelmed by the lovely birthday wishes and am so thankful for the wonderful family and friends that i am so incredibly lucky to have. those were the days...wrinkle free and not terrified of the camera. i can't say that it is the same today. still, as i am now closer to 30 than i am to 20, i can only hope the next 26 years of my life are as great as the first. 

and yes carlee, i'm wearing a sweatshirt over my swimsuit. some things never change.

xo.

i have a crush on obama

   

he's adorable. i hope everyone enjoyed watching the inauguration celebration as much as I did. i couldn't help but get choked up when obama....well, pretty much did anything. our new president is darling - from giving the hang loose sign, to watching him cuddle his kids, to the first dance with his stunning wife....there is just a new sense of excitement, hope and happiness in the air. 

happy inauguration day. truly a day to remember.

happy mlk day

with Obama's inauguration coming up tomorrow, it seems beyond appropriate to recognize today's celebration of one of the most respected civil-rights leaders in history. it's pretty amazing what Martin Luther King Jr. did to break down the nation's color barrier and set the course for a more inclusive American dream, without which we might not be celebrating our new President's place in history tomorrow. on another, but similar note, today is also a national day of service. don't forget to do your part to spread the love.

new year resolute

i'm fourteen days behind on creating my resolutions.

in the year two thousand and nine, i plan to:

ride this puppy a lot (thanks diane and cary! xo).  but stop running into things (i.e. fire hydrants)

create more. put my ideas to use.

train for a marathon. get "ripped".

stick to a budget. seriously. for once.

eat healthy. but stop obsessing. 

better late than never, eh?

christmas in my stomach

For some reason, when the holidays come around, my "health conscious" side is thrown out the window. This is a typical diet from Nov. 23-Jan. 12th:

7am - Good morning fudge - couple bits to wake me up

8am - That fudge made me sick on an empty stomach - eat a yogurt

9 am - Are those M&M's? Red and Green? How festive - eat a couple handfuls

9:15-11:30am - half a Christmas cookie, more M&M's, york peppermint pattie - then the rest of the cookie

Noon - Time for lunch. Better eat something substantial Mmm...."funeral potatoes" from last night. Delish. 

Noon-thirty-5pm - few more handfuls of M&M's, 3-42 hershey kisses, 3 christmas cookies, and a piece of fudge

6pm - too sick for dinner

8pm - hot chocolate

Do I have to fit in a wedding dress in April? I have a couple months....

simple dreams

i dream of living in a small town.

i dream of balance.

i dream of marrying cortney.

i dream of the day i can grow my own food and live off the land.

i dream of a day i can look around me and only see trees and nature.

i dream of a day where i wake up and don't criticize something about myself.

because i dream of raising children with confidence and positive attitudes.

i dream of having kids, dogs and horses running all around me.

i dream of always being able to say the right thing.

especially to those that need to hear the right thing.

i dream of carlee, ashley and i taking our kids on hikes in the mountains

and trips to the park.

i dream of being able to ride a bike wherever i want to go.

i dream of the feeling of accomplishment.

i dream of being peaceful.

i dream of being the best mom, the best friend, the best wife and the best sister i can be.

i still dream of having it all, but mostly,

i dream of a simple life.

on this day...

mend a quarrel. seek out a forgotten friend.

dismiss suspicion, and replace it with trust.

write a love letter. share some treasure.

give a soft answer. encourage youth. listen.

manifest your loyalty in word and deed.

keep a promise. find the time. forgo a grudge.

apologize if you were wrong.

try to understand. flout envy. be kind. be gentle.

examine your demands of others.

think first of someone else. welcome a stranger.

inspire confidence. embrace equality.

decry complacency.

laugh a little. laugh a little more.

honor your late friends and family.

express your gratitude.

open your heart to a child.

relish the beauty and wonder of the earth.

take up arms against malice. pray.

speak your love. speak it again.

speak it still once more.

The Park Bench

I got this poem from a professor of mine - sometimes I need to read little inspirational things like this - just to give me a boost, and to help me be a better person. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

The Park Bench

The park bench was deserted as I sat down to read

Under the long, straggly branches of an old willow tree

Disillusioned by life with good reason to frown

For the world was intent on dragging me down

And if that weren't enough, to ruin my day

A young boy approached me, all tired from play

He stood right before me with his head tilted down

And said with great excitement, "Look what I found!"

In his hand was a flower, and what a pitiful sight

With its petals all worn - not enough rain, or too little light

Wanting him to take his dead flower and go off to play

 I faked a small smile and then shifted away

But instead of retreating he sat next to my side

And placed the flower to his nose

And declared with overacted surprise

"It sure smells pretty and it's beautiful, too.

That's why I picked it; here, it's for you."

The weed before me was dying or dead

Not vibrant of colors: orange, yellow or red

But I knew I must take it, or he might never leave

So I reached for the flower and said, "Just what I need." 

But instead of him placing the flower in my hand

He held it mid-air, without reason or plan

It was then that I noticed for the very first time

That weed-toting boy could not see: he was blind

I heard my voice quiver; tears shone in the sun

As I thanked him for picking the very best one

"You're welcome," he smiled, and then ran off to play

Unaware of the impact he'd had on my day

I sat there and wondered how he managed to see

A self-pitying person beneath an old willow tree

How did he know my self-indulged plight?

Perhaps from his heart, he'd been blessed with true sight

Through the eyes of a blind child, at last I could see

The problem was not with the world; the problem was me

And for all of those times, I myself had been blind

I vowed to appreciate every second that's mine

And then I held that wilted flower up to my nose

And breathed in the fragrance of a beautiful rose

I smiled at the young boy with another weed in his hand

About to change the life of an unsuspecting old man

That Person...

I want to be that person who always has fresh flowers in her home (and doesn't let them die).

I want to be the person who follows through her goals and ideas.

I want to be the person who doesn't complain about a bad situation, but does something about it.

I want to be that person who is not too proud to sincerely apologize.

I want to be that person who doesn't care so much about what she weighs and how she looks.

I want to be that person who doesn't let a kind gesture, invitation, or gift go without a phone call or a thank you note.

I want to be that person who wakes up at 5 AM, works out for an hour, makes her bed, reads her scriptures, takes a shower, and is ready for the day by 7 AM. 

I want to be that person who never shows up to dinner empty handed.

I want to be that person who doesn't miss the opportunity to express to someone how their kindness or words influenced her for the better.

I want to be that person who always thinks before she speaks.

I want to be that person who doesn't let others' perceptions or opinions prematurely sway her own.

I want to be that person who doesn't give confidence to stereotypes.

I want to be that person who can always be counted on to keep her word. 

I want to be that person who people feel comfortable with asking a favor or helping hand. 

I want to be that person that people trust and aren't afraid to be honest with.

I want to be that person who is cultured and frequently visits museums, the theater, the symphony and the ballet. 

I want to be that person who always keeps her car and house clean and in order.

I want to be that person who doesn't procrastinate, is organized and put 110% into each task she's assigned. 

This is for Jon...

This is where I live.

We are having a heat wave here in southern California.

I'm not going to lie, I miss Utah right now.