lately, i've come to realize...

noah, discovering the joys of almond butter, straight from the spoon.

it doesn't matter how much baby noah does or doesn't wake up at night. the next day, i will still be tired.

most of the food that i eat is usually just a vehicle for almond/peanut butter.

it seems that i'm passing that trait onto my baby boy. 

it's really hard to come up with new ideas for healthy dinners every night. i'm stockpiled with ideas for recipes with loads of butter, cheese and the works. but there is really only so much i can do with fish/chicken and vegetables. 

and it doesn't matter how hard i try to eat healthy all week. by friday, i always cave and bake something.  usually involving chocolate chips.

there are no boundaries between a mother and child. we literally share everything. food, sleep, my body...you name it.

i've never really known how to style my own hair. 

and i'll probably never really know how to iron well.

it doesn't matter how many times i clean the kitchen floor. it still never looks clean.

but i'll still eat something that's fallen on it - even past the ten second rule. 

the majority of my time is going to be spent at parks and playgrounds in the next coming years. but i'm perfectly okay with that. 

i'm probably never going to like running. 

but i love walking. so i try to do lots.

that's all. xo.

friday confessions.

i love seeing baby noah in his swimsuit. if only to admire the size of his thighs.

i was surprised when the miley cyrus song, "party in the usa" started playing on my ipod this morning. but then i played it again 2 more times.

the last time i went to the dentist, i told him i was, "pretty good about flossing."

i'm way overdue to go to the dentist - mostly because i'm scared for them to be able to tell that i haven't been "pretty good about flossing."

i've started increasing my food servings because baby noah eats off my plate. but he doesn't eat that much.

i don't really understand it when people say that they are "craving vegetables". i mean really...??? because i'm craving cake.

i've made two batches of these muffins, in less than a week. each doubled.

and i think 3 or 4 of those muffins make a perfectly acceptable meal.

i've been streaming grey's anatomy on netflix over the last couple weeks, and watching so much of it that sometimes i find myself believing that i'm a doctor and using medical jargon.

i'm terrified of birds.

and i think birds know that i'm terrified of them, as i frequently find them stalking me, or dive-bombing dangerously close to my head when i'm outside.

i wonder every day if people are actually reading this blog.


it's the weekend! yay! xo.


*you can read more of my confessions, here.

monday confessions.

at any point in the day, you can guarantee that i have spit-up on my clothes.

i eat the same bowl of oatmeal every single morning. oats. almond milk. slivered almonds. blueberries. i'd probably eat it for every meal if i could.

i think i'm co-dependent. i'm going through a phase were i really, really miss Cort everyday that he's gone, and especially when he's traveling. i've always missed him, but this has been more so than ever.

i'm considering cutting bangs again. even after complaining every single day about trying to grow them out.

i spend a lot of time in a dark room these days, when it's time to feed baby N. or put him to sleep. now that he's so aware of the world around him, it's hard to keep his attention.

and he is so full of energy. he's talking and squealing and rolling and scooting. i can barely keep up with him now and he's not even mobile yet.

i miss my family more every day that i'm away from them. it doesn't get easier, like i originally thought it would.

i just washed our bed sheets for the first time since we've been home from Utah. yikes, embarrassing.

baby N. and i take a walk every afternoon to go steal a cookie from the leasing office. at first i just made up excuses about why i was there (taking a break from the cold, maintenance question, etc.). they figured me out. now i just walk in, say hello, and take a cookie.

i'm starting to lose interest in yoga due to how expensive it is. seriously...$15 a class?? i either need to pick up a new hobby or build my own little yoga sauna.

we have started to move baby N. into his crib at night. i have to get in the crib with him every night until he falls asleep to get him to stay in there. even though he's in the bedroom next to us, he still feels so far away.

happy monday. xo.

friday confessions.

i had three cookies before breakfast this morning.

i'll probably eat two more after this post.

baby n. had a blowout that went through his clothes and onto my leg on the airplane ride home from nyc on tuesday. nice timing buddy.

i have repeatedly been telling cort that i was NOT the one clogging the bathroom sink. this was all before he pulled out a huge hair ball, that happened to be long dark hair, out of it last night.

i still don't take as many pictures as i should. the ones i do take, don't look that great.

i cried when i couldn't stop baby n. from crying the other day, because i felt like an inadequate mother.

i feel like an inadequate mother at least once a day.

60% of the things i bake/cook don't turn out.

but even i couldn't screw these up (note first confession)...made them last night. delicious.

sometimes i think baby n. only sees me as a food source (and that's fine) - see picture below.

i've been wearing the same pair of leggings all week.

i'm a vegetarian that has been eating meat like it's the last food source on the planet...(i chalk it up to breastfeeding).

i don't call people as much as i should. but mostly because i get sad that i can't talk to them in person.

tonight is the first night we are leaving baby n. with a sitter. cort has a work party, and i'm kind of freaking out about it, but am excited to dress up. i never get to dress up (note confession #11).

have a happy weekend. xo.