30 August 2010

41+

so, we made it through the weekend - barely, but without the arrival of our little one. on friday night, i was positive that we were going to be seeing him in the next couple of days. after my biophysical and appointment (which showed the little guy was still doing great - happy and content in the womb), i started having contractions anywhere from 5-10 minutes apart that continued over the next few hours to get more and more intense. i've had the fake, braxton-hicks ones - and quite a few over the last couple of months. but these were different. i'm talking take-you-to-your-knees, take your breath away, painful contractions. i couldn't see how this couldn't be the real thing. this continued for the next 20+ hours! i didn't sleep, mostly because they were too painful - but also, i was waiting for them to get around 3-4 minutes apart to head to the hospital, knowing anything else would probably be too soon. on saturday, still dealing with (and timing) contractions, Cort and I went on a walk, got some breakfast, and tried to kill time. we headed to the mall to pick up a few things, but once we started heading home....nothing. the contractions just stopped. well, not stopped...but at least slowed down. they moved from every 15 minutes, to every 30 minutes and jumped all over the place from there. this pattern continued (5-30 minutes), and continues until now.

my doctor is calling it prodromal labor. it is labor, but it's not doing much to my cervix, since the baby is still not engaged and helping the dialation move along. so, here i am. i've put a lot of pressure on myself to have a intervention-free birth, but after today's appointment, i can see that dream slipping further and further away. my doctor will not let me go past thursday to induce, and is giving me a higher chance of a c-section than most. it's been a bit of an emotional (and physical!) drain, but i (and Cortney, and my mom, and Ashley) keep reminding me that, in the end, the most important thing, is that i get to hold a healthy, happy and strong baby boy. it's a miracle that i am pregnant...it's all about perspective, right? i'm coming to terms with that this may not be the birth plan i thought it would be or wanted, but this is the baby i've always wanted, and that is enough.

so, i'm taking a different approach. i've been on my feet as much as possible over the last couple of weeks. walking like crazy, bouncing on my yoga ball, walking around on my hands and knees, and trying every possible yoga position that might help the little bubs engage. after the news today, i decided that what will be, will be. i can't force this baby ready and out - nor do i want to - but after having my body put through some of the toughest stuff it's ever been through, i'm ready to rest. i'm napping (between contractions), eating pretzel m&m's and watching movies. if he decides it's time to come before wednesday night, wonderful - but if not, it's out of my hands. i'm trusting that things will happen the way they're supposed to.

and on a more positive note, one of oldest friends, Ashley Lee, who gave birth to her little boy less than 2 months ago, has reminded me on a number of ocassions, to cherish this special time I have with Cortney. he has been my source of comfort and support, and if anything, this weekend reminded me of how lucky i am to be married to such a great man, and that he gets to be the father of my children. i am a lucky, lucky girl.

anyway, that was a long-winded way of saying that no, we don't have a baby yet, but at the latest, we will on thursday. and that's pretty exciting news to me.

happy monday. xo.

10 comments:

The Dumas Family said...

September 2nd is a cool birthday, mama! I know it's not how you expected things to go, but I think that is preparation for the rest of your time with Baby Boy Jacobe. I know all will go well. Hang in there for just a bit longer. I can't wait to see him! I am so thrilled for you guys. I'm sorry if you're bummed about being induced, but it's not all bad. I've done it twice and there are worse things in the world. Bring a movie or two and enjoy it! I love you! P.S. I'm very jealous of the pretzel M & M's. I think I may have to make a trip to the store. They sound delightful.

Sarah M said...

I feel like I am reading what was my own thoughts and feelings at your exact point in pregnancy. I was SO ready to go 'naturally' and I didn't. Now, the fact that I got induced is the farthest thing from my mind. I don't care how Ruby got here, jus that she got here. (But that doesn't mean I'm not planning on 'natural' for #3).
Good Luck, thinking of you!

Ashley Blackburn said...

Oh La La. Hang in there. The little tyke will be here before you know it. I'm glad everyone's healthy. Love you. Sending my vibes to the baby to get on out of there!!!

The Campbells said...

Hang in there, Laura. He will be in your arms before you know it. Don't lose all hope yet, the outcome is still unknown...
Also, remember that if things don't go the way you planned, that doesn't make you less of a mother/women. I was there with Livi and I had to come to terms with the fact that even though I had a c-section, I still felt labor and I still delivered her. I just had a way harder recovery. ; ) And, I am still just as much a mother as someone who can have babies "naturally."
Can't wait for that beautiful baby boy! Love you!!

Wendy said...

I agree with everything you said, hang in there girly! So great to have an awesome hubby! Keep smiling... you really will forget all this in the end. :)

Amy E. Campbell said...

Yep, whatever way he decides to get here.. he'll get here-- and he's still yours. Can't wait til Thursday!! So many September birthdays in our family!

Melissa said...

You have a great attitude!!! Good luck the next few days, it will work out. :-)
I also have been reminded by all to enjoy the next couple months while it is just Mike and I. Once the little guy decides to come, your lives will never change (for the better of course).
All our love,
Melissa, Mike and Elle

whit said...

Laura..
Hang in there for sure..things will be great and baby cute little boy will bring you nothing but happiness. Wish you the best of luck!! Thinking about you!

kelsie said...

This is probably so werid that I am commenting on your blog because you totally dont know me, but I love reading your blog. I think your adorable. Anyway, I was in the exact same boat as you at the end of my pregnancy and it is so true that things can sway away from the plan and it's ok cause in the end you just want a healthy baby! And Im sure a million people have told you natural remedies and it gets old, but, heres one that pushed me over the edge just enough to not have to have any intervention.. worth a try if you really dont want to get induced. I went to the chiropracter that specializes in pregnant women and got adjusted so the baby was able to descend and took castor oil, which wasn't fun, but it got the ball rolling. Hang in there!

Morgan@LittleHouseofVeggies said...

Hey Laura! I had false labor 2x with baby #2 and it was WAY worse than her actual labor. WHen I was ain real labor I drove myself to the hospital and was dilated to a NINE!!! I had no idea. The false labor was the worse thing ever. very painful. Hang in there. Oh, and My Little Ezras birthday is Sept. 2! Great bday!