16 August 2011

as of late.



just a few weeks shy of 12 months, our boy is thriving these days. while at church on sunday, a young woman asked me if he "ever stops". and of course, i told her that he doesn't. he hasn't since birth. he's always been alert, active and on-the-go. a mind of his own - our own, personal, little curious george. watching him move and figure things out is so entertaining as he does everything with a sound effect, with his moves never necessarily gentle. he plants the best kisses, high-fives, he steals food off my plate, and gives loves and cuddles freely and openly. he is happy, care-free and independent.

so when my good friend here in dallas asked if i'd like to join a gym with her this last week (to help get our post-pregnancy bodies back in shape), and leave our kids in the gym's child care - it being seemingly clean and safe - something i thought i would always be able to do before i had kids - my stomach dropped. this happens frequently when i consider leaving baby noah anywhere without me, for any amount of time.

by western society standards, i, as a mother, am doing everything wrong. i nurse in public, nurse to sleep, the acronym CIO means "cuddle-it-out" in our household, we co-sleep, and have only left noah without both of us less than a handful of times. and that handful of times is only for a couple hours, or most likely, less. ever since the day he was born, i have felt a strong need to keep baby n. near me at all times. to have him know that i will console him, cuddle him and make him feel safe. anytime i've left him, i get anxious and worried that he is scared or confused, which of course leads to mom-guilt, and then the inevitable proclamation that i refuse to leave him ever again.

i've been told, "it's good for him!" which really just sounds ridiculous to me, because how can a baby being separated from his mother, for any amount of time...be good for him? good for me? maybe i can back that belief, but very hesitantly, which is why i am going back and forth trying to decide if i can be at the gym for an hour without running to the child care center, where i have left my son with strangers, to check and see if he is OK. and happy. which, i have no doubt he will be, because in the presence of other children, he doesn't even know i exist.

as baby noah gets a little older, i am getting less worried that he always needs to have me in sight and by his side. but still, the gym-idea scares me a little.

so, my question to you, my blogging friends, is, have you ever left your child in the gym child care? if so, how did it go? what can i expect? do you trust...the child care professionals watching your children??

xo.

14 comments:

Cason and Marie said...

I have left Millie in the gym daycare probably five times. I felt the same way as you. And I feel like I've heard all these horror stories of kids in the gym daycare. But it actually went surprisingly well. She did cry a few times, but eventually warmed up. I was really worried and all I thought about was her the whole time...but when I went to pick her up, she was ok! So the next time I wasn't as worried. If something were to happen to her, there are multiple children of all ages there, and other child care professionals, so someone would tell me right?! That's what I'd hope for.

You can always go check on him if you are worried. Good luck to you !

thewestenskows.blogspot.com said...

I felt the same way at first with Whitney. She would cry for a minute but then I would walk around to the window and show that I was just in the room next door and then she was fine. For me, I wanted Whitney to get some social play time with other kids her age with out me "hoovering" over her. Now when we go to the gym, she cries when I pick her up because she doesn't want to leave! Hank has always loved it and loves playing with the new toys.

Good luck though! It is hard at first.

The Neilson Family said...

This is hard! If I had a nice gym close by I would have the same worry. Good luck with your decision. No matter what you decide Noah will do great! I am sure he would love to play with the other kids. Plus you get to be close by and get in your workout. Good luck!!

Carlee said...

you can always just try it once? I know how much you like to work out, and if you have a friend to go with you it's an even better deal. see how the little tyke does:)

Julie said...

I still have mom quilt...Every situation will be different. I hated leaving Owen and now I still hate leaving Evan, but Olivia is up for grabs (j/k but kinda not)

laura said...

Love working out Carlee? Who are you talking about?

Julie Billmeier said...

I took the "try it once" approach and loved it! Rebekah did great and had fun playing with the worker and the other little kids. Even though she goes to daycare a couple of days a week, it took me awhile to warm up to the idea of the gym daycare. She cries a bit, but I think she will do better if I put her down with the toys instead of handing her to the worker. That's what I'm going to try tomorrow. It's such a short period of time, I would definitely say to try it and see how you actually feel about it. :)

Kristen M said...

I love how you say you are doing everything wrong according to lame western standards. You of course are doing everything right.

laura said...

i know, that's what I think Kristen :)

Mandy said...

I do it all the time!!! LOVE IT!!! you need some mommy time to be able to work out. I left Berkley for the first time and she did great. Noah will be just fine.

Jamie said...

Never can do it...and I feel like I'm totally FINE with being separated from my kids...but for some reason...the gym day care is never something I've conquered. I.DONT.KNOW.WHY. Maybe it's the momguilt thing! GOOD LUCK LAURA

Erin Bradley said...

ha ha. just talked to you about this. with back to school, i haven't been able to get on the computer, crazy, busy around here. it has taken me 6 years to get used to it. afton and hudson LOVE the nursury at the gym so much,, that they talked me into it. i have been surprised at how well wyatt has done and even more surprised that i haven't felt guilty at all. i figure i am trying to be healthy so i can be aroung for a longer time to take care of them:). but then i know i will stop in the winter (too many germs) but for now, it has been really nice! do what you feel comfortable with. love you!!!

Lisa Marie Trent said...

I leave Jack in ours. Granted, it's MUCH different than your situation. However, "it's good for him" means you won't be the mom at church whose kid is clinging to their leg screaming while the poor Sunbeam teacher tries to peel him off. Or the poor mom who ALWAYS has to walk her kid into his classroom, in tears, as the poor kindergarten teacher repeatedly reassures him that mommy is coming back.
Noah is still a baby. Which is why this is hard- but starting it early prevents problems in the future. I'm SOO SOO glad Jack loves to have babysitters and is ok when we drop him off at Grandma's house. It makes me feel settled that he is happy when we leave. I would feel quite the opposite if he was clinging to me every time I left him.
Yes, the gym daycare sounds horrible at first. But I've made friends with the girls there, they greet Jack by name every time he comes in and he REALLY (being an only child) enjoys being around other kids.

So, that is my two cents.

Kristin said...

Go for it! Try it...he will do great. My kids love the gym daycare, and are always happy to see me when I pick them up so that's always a nice perk! And I agree that it helps avoid some social anxiety later for them. I am always so proud of my littles when they walk past the crying leg hugging kids and go right into school, church, wherever with confidence, knowing that they are independent enough to figure stuff out on their own for a little while, and that they trust me enough to know I will be back. Love you cute mama!