just clap your hands everybody

i woke up to a baby clapping his hands in my face. his eyes were still closed. baby N. has gotten in the habit of playing, clapping and even sometimes crawling before he's even woken up all the way. he's smiling...and trying to open them, but it's either too bright or he's still half asleep. we can't figure it out. it's hilarious.

i spend so much time trying to figure out what is going on inside that little brain of his. i can only describe his personality as of right now, as all lit up. his face is always glowing with a smile. his eyes are always sparkling with excitement. and his expressions are priceless. i wonder what it would be like to wake up every morning so excited that you're already clapping. i could learn a lot from him. he truly lives, each day to its fullest. sigh. so sweet.

i spent a lot of today hoisting his long, chubby little body from one hip to the next. some days he spends the whole day at the heel of my foot (and they are usually preceded by what seems to be an all-night nursing session) if i'm not holding him, he's chasing after me, babbling loudly, until he's able to reach my feet and pull himself up onto my legs, giving them a big squeeze. it's the cutest. i can't not snuggle him, every single time. he'll nuzzle into my neck, and search for my fingers wrapped around his waist, with his big dimpled hands. i tell him i love him, and kiss his cheeks. i am amazed at how fast he is growing and changing every day.  i feel so honored to be his mother, and am so flattered that even though he is inches away from me 24 hours a day...he's not sick of me yet. i'll give it a few more months until he wises up. until then, i will spend each day memorizing how he feels propped up against my hip - chest to chest, and the softness of his cheeks and how they still droop in that new-baby kind of way.

don't i kind of sound like such a cliche?

this is nothing new to millions of people around the world who have experienced this before me, and the millions of people who will after. cort and i were discussing on a walk last night that, somehow, it still feels like he's the only baby who ever existed. the only baby that ever did the things that he does, and the way he does them.  i know that every new mom feels the same way, but i'm still eating these moments up with every fiber of my being, and loving him in the largest way possible.

his life is definitely worth clapping over.

xo.