newborn life

where to begin, where to begin...

there are no words that can describe the love i feel for this newborn. it's true what they say, but i didn't really know until now - his coming into our lives has shown us love in an incomparable way. i had no idea how wonderful life would be. how wonderful and satisfying, motherhood, would be.

i don't think i've stared at one thing for so long in my life, as much as i've stared at this boy in one week. especially, since i "should be sleeping when he is sleeping". has any mother ever followed that rule? i want to take in everything about him - not wanting to miss a thing. the sounds of him stretching - reaching his limbs as far as they'll go. the way he fusses, but never really cries. the crooked smile he makes as i tickle the side of his face. the way he looks for his hands, sometimes in a panic, and is immediately comforted once they reach his mouth. the cooing noises that come when he starts to drift off into a deep sleep. and the way he sleeps - always with one hand by his face, the other curled up in a tiny little fist. the "waking" hours - (between 11pm and 2am) and watching his deep, dark eyes take in all the newness around him. how he loves to be swaddled, and cuddled, and kissed - on those soft, chubby cheeks. no boy has ever been kissed as much as him.

my life, is also newly-born. i know i'm the same person, but i just feel different, in a way i can't describe. i know he came into our lives right when he should have, and i'm so ready for what lies ahead. my days have changed completely. our routine is now sweet and simple, as we try to learn about each other and take in each detail of our new days. we could be in our room for days and days, and i would be perfectly content. as much as i was a nervous about becoming a mother, i'm happy to report it feels like what i should have been doing all along. like i've known him all along. but there is still much to learn. my swaddling technique is less than par. and i've yet to figure out how to change his diaper without another accident happening right in the middle of it. but i know these things take time. and i'm trying desperately to slow it all down, because i don't want to miss a thing. every second, i want him to know how much he is loved. he will never be told too much.

i'm so ready for our newborn life - so excited for the possibilities and what we have to look forward to in our future. everyday kind of feels like christmas. except better.

and i can't believe we get to keep him. xo.